Violence is not the answer, I've been told,
But I didn't ask a question.
Violence will only bring regret, they say,
But I felt only satisfaction.
Violence doesn't solve a thing, I hear,
But I didn't need a solution.
When will people realise,
Their opinions are not welcome,
And stay the hell away?
Violence may be the only thing I have left.
I rise and rub my eyes,
Another day, another chance to die.
Hope courses through my veins,
Warms my heart, yet feels so strange.
Why do I wish for closure?
I don't understand why I'm here,
Maybe that's the reason for wanting it over.
I could help it along,
No one would ever be any the wiser.
Like they'd notice
A little voice in the depths of me,
Always talking, always urging,
Why do I have this other side?
"Conflicting emotions," they called it.
As far as I'm concerned,
I'm suicidal.
The sooner someone notices that,
The sooner I can get on with my life
Instead of wanting it to come to an end.
I gaze into the abyss,
Entranced by the sight, in stunned surprise.
I see skin tone,
I see flecks of colour in the eyes.
I see each tiny strand of hair,
So perfectly detailed,
And I wonder if everyone sees what I see there.
I reach up and touch my cheek,
To wipe away the glistening, salty wetness residing,
To cleanse the image,
Make it pretty,
Make it right,
To uncover whatever may be hiding.
Then I stop, and I drop,
My hand.
How can I make you understand?
It's exactly how I imagined it to be.
It's Me.
Promises tumble all too easily from your lips.
Vows? They cascade rapidly towards the floor.
I don't believe you any more.
Apologies leap from you like fleas from a dog.
Regrets? Assurances from you there will be none.
I don't believe the dark has gone.
Laughter rings freakishly through the cold around us.
Happiness? A feeling long lost to the both of us.
I don't believe your theory of 'trust'.
Silence envelops me and you fade slowly.
I Swear? You said it. You swore.
I don't think I can ever believe you any more.
My fingers have gone numb,
They're clamped so tightly,
Entwined in yours, so close it looks like one hand.
My lips are sore,
Red and bruised, and swollen,
From where your fierce kisses have attacked.
My eyes are aching,
Tears sliding down my cheeks,
Tears of passion, pain and perfect emotion.
My voice is quiet, I can make no sound,
Silence screams more loudly than I ever could.
But it's not a fight,
There's nothing wrong.
It feels so right,
Goes on and on, and on.
Until;
It's over, we've reached the summit, forever together.
Breathing in unison,
Staring.
In stunned appreciation of the magic we create.
Darkness alights, suffocating the skies,
Time stands still once more.
I walk alone, sounds sweep over me,
No wind, nothing touches my pale skin.
I try to recall the sun on my face,
Impossible, a far away place,
Where the warmth was once felt.
I shiver, more a reaction to lack of memory,
For I feel not a thing, clinically dead.
Eternity ahead,
I long to breathe again, to inhale the sweet aromas of life.
To taste something other than death.
Acceptance is my next step,
My fate sealed as I roam the Earth.
But I am strength personified,
For I am the undead, nor alive, it's a confusing state.
I know not what runs through my veins,
Current Residence: The Norfolk Coast Favourite genre of music: Drum n Bass/Jungle/Breakbeat Favourite photographer: David Bailey Favourite style of art: Fantasy Operating System: Windows XP Wallpaper of choice: Anything Angelina Jolie Favourite cartoon character: Jessica Rabbit Personal Quote: The one out of Good Will Hunting, too long to write here!!
Favourite Visual Artist
Luis Royo
Favourite Movies
The Notebook
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Chase & Status
Favourite Writers
Wilfred Owen
Favourite Games
Jewel Quest II
Favourite Gaming Platform
PC
Tools of the Trade
PC/Mac... caffeine... L&B cigarettes... and a toilet nearby.
Other Interests
Socialising both on and off the 'net, reading, Puzzlers, some basic designing, poetry, music
Well, well, well... I've just read the other journal entries I've made since joining dA (all of 4!) and I am beginning to think I may be schizophrenic. My life has more ups and downs than something with a hell of a lot of ups and downs, but you know what? I'm learning to enjoy it. Ride the rollercoaster, surf the waves of life. It'll keep on happening, life does not run smoothly. It's best if I laugh as I'm moving, live life to the fullest and look forward to the next high point, rather than becoming depressed, right?
Single. What does it mean to you? For me it's become rather a bothersome title/feeling/experience. You think that your life is perfect, that it just couldn't get any better and then Bam! It hits you... when you're riding that high there's no other way but down. So why ignore the warning signs? Why assume it's not going to happen to you? Because we're all fools, deluded beyond the point of recognition. Let me just tell you this and I'll go back to wallowing in self pity; you're not safe. No one's excused. We're all f*cked and you know the worst part of it? That's Life. We simply endure it, deal with it and move on to the next f*ck up. Great, t
What would you do if-
[1] I committed suicide:
[2] I told you I loved you:
[3] I told you I hated you:
[4] I stopped seeing the truth:
[6] I killed someone:
[7] I stopped writing:
[8] I left one day to never return:
[9] I lost all hope:
What do you think about my-
[1] Personality:
[2] Eyes:
[3] Face:
[4] Hair:
[5] Clothes:
[6] Thoughts:
[7] Views:
[8] Tastes:
[9] Criticism:
[10] Poetry
Other-
[1] Who are you?:
[2] Should I care?:
[3] Are you my friend? If yes, why?:
[4] How do I affect you?:
[5] What is your opinion on me?:
[6] When you hear my name, what do you first think of?:
[7] How do you think I will die?:
[8